A Thousand Miles and oh, I miss my son

Vanessa Carlton came out with a song a few years ago called, "A Thousand Miles". It has the feeling of a love song, but I never heard it that way. I always thought of my son when I heard it. He is, after all, the greatest love of my life and the best gift God ever gave me. It was natural to me to dedicate it to him when I heard it.

He knew how much I loved it and one day when it happened to come on the music channel on the TV, he turned it up so I could hear it. I walked into the room and said, "Oh, I love this song!" With a look of pride on his face, he said, "I know that! That's why I turned it up!"

He doesn't remember that day but I do. And I remember how much it meant to me that he had paid attention and that he had gone out of his way to make me happy, that something as simple as a favorite song of mine had registered with him when he was but 11 or 12.

And tonight, after a brief meltdown on my behalf when I couldn't find him to talk to him when I was really missing him, I was brought back to what I would do to see my child.

No one can understand how much love there is between a mother and her child, the depth of the river of feeling that flows from our hearts into theirs. But as he goes on with his life 1,200 miles away, this song is just as true to me today as it was back then when I originally sang it to him 9 years ago.

After 19 years of hugging and squeezing him, sometimes several times a day if I was lucky, it's been 2 L-O-N-G weeks since I hugged him last and I don't know when I'll get to do it again. I think my heart will never get over that, but every day I know I'd walk all that way just to hug him again.

I love you, honey. And I miss you with all my heart.

"A Thousand Miles"

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight